The Function of Forgiveness

     I sometimes find it difficult to live a forgiving lifestyle. Every time I set my heart to forgiveness, something comes along to remind me of how hurt I am, how unfairly I've been treated, or of a wrong I've suffered. Then, I find myself having to forgive all over again. I wonder sometimes, do I even know what forgiveness is all about?
     Forgiveness is not about making things right. Not really, because damage has been done, loss has been suffered, and feelings have actually been deeply disturbed. Forgiveness is more about one's attitude - not only toward an offender, but also toward the offense.
     The Bible stresses the importance of love many times over. But love, in the Biblical sense, is not a sentimental, emotional attachment to a person. Of course, love, at least what we consider to be love, can include that. But the idea of love in the Bible is more accurately understood by the word charity. Charity, of course, is the translation of the Greek word agape' in the King James Version of 1 Corinthians 13.
    However, across time, words take on different connotations. Thus, charity has come to be considered as little more than a handout or benevolence to the poor - Salvation Army, thrift stores, food banks, etc. Indeed, these are charities, and in many ways they are a significant part of charity. But charity is far more than just giving to the poor.
     Charity is a grace, and empowering choice that embodies God's character. Charity is the ability to extend compassion, kindness, and consideration for others to others. Thus, charity is the catalyst that makes forgiveness possible. Without the ability to be gracious, it is impossible to extend grace, and grace lies at the core of Christian experience and expression.
       In times when we are personally affronted, being gracious can be difficult. The old nature wants to rise to the surface and inflict retribution. We want to "get even." But paybacks tend to backfire. They usually escalate an already painful circumstance into an unbearable continuum. No one is made better and no one gets better.
      So, what is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is the act of setting aside
the determination to exact personal retribution
in the face of a real or perceived violation of one's self.

(Byler's Defs: 101)

In other words, it is refusing to violate your own personal grace just because you have been wronged.
      Jesus offered the prototype example of this grace as He hung on the cross. "Father, forgive them." That was His prayer. "They know not what they do" was His reality. He knew what was in their hearts.
     Our problem is that we usually have no idea what is in another person's heart, but we assume that we do. All too often that judgment is made because of something in our own hearts, something that is off center or out of balance. Get that right and forgiveness becomes far less difficult.
     Forgiveness does not let the offender "off the hook." If a crime has been committed, justice must be served. But, if the offense is social, justice seems far less interested. Nevertheless, time "wounds all heels." The truth inevitably comes to the surface. If you try to exact a bit of personal retribution, the only heel that gets wounded is you.
     Christian character is strengthened by embracing compassion and exhibiting grace. Grace allowed you to come to salvation. Grace sustains you when you fall short of your calling in Christ. Grace empowers you to rise above your old nature and walk in the victory of the cross. And grace gives you the motivation to serve others in love.
      Forgiveness, then, is one of the most significant acts you can experience, for when you forgive, you are most like Christ. When you fail to forgive, you are far removed from the very grace that has been extended to you.
      The function of forgiveness is not about who you forgive. It is that you do forgive. Forgiveness cleanses you from the animosity and bitterness which linger in the aftermath of a wounded heart. Forgiveness prepares you to face another day with the joy of the Lord as your strength. Forgiveness causes others to see the character of Christ in your life and make room for His grace to manifest in others. And forgiveness frees the offender from your wrath. It exposes that person to God's determination for his or her future and removes you from the temptation to "play God."